Guilty Has Ever Stained Either Your Heart Or “ I Accuse No One,”
No one is guilty
Here is a common example. The people in love get married. Both of them have the best of intentions and the highest of expectations for the future, or they wouldn’t get married in the first place. Unfortunately, people and situations change over time. The couple finds that they are no longer happy together and decide to divorce. But then the problems really begin.
Instead of agreeing, like adults, that they have reached a point where they are incompatible and they no longer want to live together, blame must be apportioned. Someone must be guilty. The guilty party must be punished. Lawyers and Judges now have to get involved. Detectives and accountants are hired to dig up dirt on each party. The situation gets worse and worse, until it finally ends in anger, bitterness, accusations, and even hatred. The best of solutions, when a marriage or a relationship does not work out, is to accept that facts as an unfortunate reality, make reasonable provisions for each party, and then for each person to get on with his or her life. Many couples are doing this today through mediation rather than going through the bitterness of a traditional divorce. The results turn out to be better for everyone involved.
It is a psychological facts that most people feel that they are right in whatever they do. But as soon as one person starts to blame the other, and even worse, demand that the other person admit to being guilty, the emotional and legal battles begins. The saddest part of these legal battles is that they usually end where they started, with no one having gained very much.
To take responsibility, especially in a challenging situation
The best way to eliminate anger of all kinds is to accept responsibility. The acceptance of responsibility immediately short-circuits the emotion of anger. All the energy that anger requires for its existence is cut off. As soon as you say, “ I am responsible!” Your anger stops. Because of the Law of substitution and the fact that your mind can hold only one thought at a time, you cannot accept responsibility for your situation and be angry is based, is canceled out by the decision to accept responsibility.
Fundamental congnitive orientation of an individual or society
There are two basic ways of looking at your world. You can have a positive and benevolent worldview or a negative and malevolent worldview. By taking responsibility for yourself and what happens to you, you become positive. You see the world in benevolent terms. You become more optimistic toward yourself and your possibilities. You become a happier and more effective person.
In contrast, when you take a negative or malevolent worldview, you see problems and injustice everywhere. You see oppression and evil. You see guilty people all around you. You see limitations and unfairness rather than opportunity and hope. Worst of all, you spend your time apportioning blame to various people and institutions for all the problems you see.
Being focused at a single point and results
For example, in this country, some people are better off than others. This has been true of all societies throughout human history. This can for various reasons. It may be the result of different people having different talents, ambitions, and desires. It may be the result of some people working harder, having a better start at life, being born with greater intelligence, or simply being at the right place at the right time to catch a favorable trend in the economy.
In any case, people who are well off are not to blame for the fat that other people are not well off. People who are healthy are not to blame for the fact that other people are sick. People who are successful and happy are not to blame for those who are unsuccessful and unhappy. People who are building a good life for themselves and their families are not to at fault because other people are not. Success does not cause failure. Correlation is not causation. Because both situations occur simultaneously, this does not mean that one caused the other. An honest acceptance of this simple fact would solve many arguments and disagreements at the philosophical and political levels.
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