Example By Influence Others
Choose Your role models with care
There is nothing wrong with being thoughtful and concerned about the feelings and reactions of others toward you and your choice. when you select admirable people to look up to, you develop an inner guide that leads you to conduct yourself in an excellent way yourself.
What is silly and self-defeating however, is for you to allow yourself to be inordinately influenced by the fleeting opinions of people whose regard and respect is of no concern or value to you. If you have been raised with destructive criticism you can easily slip into the trap of organizing your life around trying to gain the approval, or escape the disapproval, or people you don’t even know or care about
Here is the way to avoid this form of negative emotion: Decide for yourself the men and women you most admire, and the qualities they have that you would most like to emulate. From now on, when you have to make a decision, think about someone you admire and ask, “where would he or she do in this situation?”
When you ask this question, you actually connect at an unconscious level with a higher power that will then give you guidance and insight. You will experience a deep inner knowing of exactly the right thing to do or say. You will make the right decision and achieve the desired result. This is a technique used by many successful men and women. Give it a try and see what happens.
Self-talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself
The fourth major cause of negative emotions, according to Ouspensky, and the trigger of anger, resentment, envy, jealous, and frustration of any kind is blame. It is blame especially that generate anger, the worst of all the negative emotions. Anger is more destructive than any force in the human world. Uncontrolled anger destroys health, relationships, families, businesses, and societies and is the chief generator of wars, revolutions, and social conflict.
The primary cause of anger can be traced back to destructive criticism in early childhood whenever a person is criticized, he reacts exactly as if he is being attached, with defensiveness and resentment. Since any behavior that you repeat over and over becomes a habit, many people develop the habit of responding with anger to every problems, disappoinment, or frustration they experience. Eventually, they reach the point where they are always angry about something.
To become angry, a person must be able to blame someone for something that has happened or not happened that they don’t like or approve of. Many people are so preoccupied with blaming others for their problems that they lose contact with reality.
They see the entire world through a lens of blame and its sister emotions, quilt. Whenever there is a problem, personal or public, the angry person automatically concludes that someone must be to blame. The individual then spends his time and emotion apportioning blame among various parties. This obsession with blame and anger, leading to resentment and envy, can often consume the person who experience it.
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