CoAs And Workaholism

Condition that makes someone work a lot of the time and fine it difficult not work.

Workaholism is a condition where the workplace permeates the consiousness to such an extent that it is difficult to concentrate or think about anything other than work. It is different from enjoying your work because it has more of the Characteristics of an addition. Work becomes a high, and withdrawal from it can cause nervousness, anxiety and depression. Family and friends are neglected, and although at first they encourage you and adjust, eventually they exclude you from their lives. Working hard by active conscious choice is different from what is being discussed here. The concern here is for those who find themselves in a compulsive pattern that is not satisfying to them, who don’t know how they got there or how to break the pattern.

The preoccupation with the workplace is set off by the childhood myths discussed in Chapter Three. It can result from other dynamics as well.

From an even broader perspective, an CoAs shares: When I wonder about how I became a workaholic,it gets pretty clear that it was all part of a process. I didn’t set out to be over involved; it just happened. At work I feel loved, accepted, respected and trusted. These are all strong needs of mine. As these feelings grabbed me, I became more secure and developed a deep sense of loyalty. The trust in these feelings developed slowly over these past four years and nine months. If label my role here, I see myself as a”family hero”. There are several” heroes” here and in some ways we work well together. We’re committed to keeping everything running smoothly. We try to anticipate all possible calamities, and we fix the screw-ups. We do have problems working together over issues of control. I have someone who I supervise who is also a strong family hero, and she is the most difficult person of all to supervise.

All the feelings are not good ones. I also feel frustration over poor communications, lack of planning, lack of direction and of clear expectations. I feel disappointment that others seem so willing to be so passive. I feel angry at myself when I react to their passivity by becoming more active and intense.

I know intellectually if I were not here, it would all go on and that I don’t make the difference, but I don’t know how not to react. Because of the love and acceptance I feel, I became very committed to what goes on here. As long as I am here, I have to give it my absolute best.

The problem in all of this is the amount of energy it takes. When I am feeling frustrated or angry, I use up so much energy. I also will start to do a number on myself like”you shouldn’t feel this way, you should be grateful”, and that moves me nicely into guilt. This depletes me even more.

In these last four years, I’ve clearly become addicted to this job. I put the bulk of my time, energy, thoughts and emotions into this place. I tell the people I supervise that they and their families come first and then the job, but I don’t practice this myself. I’ve let a lot go in these four years. I don’t keep up friendship. I want to “go out” less and less. I’ve become more introverted, and it seems there’s not much that I talk about that isn’t work related. I’m boring to me. I’ve been a supervisor now for one year. As a result, I feel more alone because my peer group is now much smaller. I’m less confident and less sure of myself. I’ve received positive feedback, but I don’t really accept or believe it.

I feel panicky at times that I’v made the wrong decision to become a supervisor. I’ve felt despair in that I didn’t see a positive future here and scared because I don’t know what else to do. I feel trapped. Like the alcoholic, everything is slipping away but my addiction to my job. My circle is getting smaller and tighter.

I reached a place where I saw only two alternatives. The first would be to quit; the other was to kill myself. That terrifies me because I don’t know what else to do. Fortunately, I don’t have such a narrow vision that I don’t know there are other alternatives — I just need to identify them.

One thing that I don’t really understand yetis how after four years I can do well in my job, be promoted, get good feedback and still feel so unsure of my future and lacking in confidence. I realize this “ family” I work with is in various stages of their own recovery, but I feel I’m slipping backward. I don’t know how any of this is coming across. I feel confused, but I am determined to get into more comfortable place. I do realize that only I can change how I feel. My first goal is to build up my confidence. I want to look at what other alternatives here are and either find a way to get more comfortable here or make whatever change I need to.